You're Wallace Rudolph West
by bat-tron
Summary: You're Wallace Rudolph West. And you deserve everything that happens to you. Warning: Contains mentions of child abuse! (I don't own the cover image, either!)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Alright, here we go with my first Young Justice story! I love Wally so obviously I have to write about him in pain!

**Disclaimer:** Nope! Don't own.

**Warnings:** Mentions of **child abuse**. It doesn't describe the scenes, tbh. Just how Wally feels afterwards. Also, there's a little bit of some mentioning of**suicidal thoughts**, but not enough that I should warn you. But you know. Better safe, than sorry, you feel me?

* * *

Come on, Wally. You're fifteen now. You can't do this.

_You're screaming and his fists won't stop smashing into your body and your skin hurts andwhyisdaddyhurtingyou?!_

You shudder. You can't help it. Being a superhero does nothing for your subconscious, it seems.

Great.

You stare longingly at the door in front of you, that you're standing in front of like a _child_. How often did you even _do_ this? Just…pathetically stand in front of Uncle Barry and Auntie Iris' bedroom door in the middle of the night, hoping, _praying_ that your silent screams wake them up so they can check on you.

Make things better.

But your stomach drops to your feet in disappointment because you're just _too_ stubborn to open that door and beg for them to _just make everything better_.

You don't know how long you can keep this up. You're so very tired and you want to sleep but every time you close your eyes—

_Daddy, _please_, you're hurting me, stopstopstopPLEASE! I'll be good, I'll get good grades, just…Daddy pleaseloveme—_

You pinch yourself to stop the painful memory. The memory that will happen tomorrow because it'll be Monday and you can't escape and you just… Come on! You're the Wall-man, you can't do this. You're Kid Flash. No one will want you if you're afraid of someone you're stronger than. Flash would be so disgusted in you.

So you let out a pathetic noise and give the slightly open door one last pleading look, before you turn and head back into your lonely, cold room and get into bed.

In the end, you don't sleep.

* * *

You're sitting in class, in the corner of the room with people who hate you. You're different and they despise you for it. But you still smile and laugh because that's what's expected of you.

You look at the clock and feel your heart drop. It's only second period and you're so, so sleepy. Your eyes are heavy, and your head feels like someone poured sand into it to weigh it down. You're hoping that lunch will help you, but that's still so far away.

Your eyes drift shut _just for a moment_, and it feels so good that you don't even realize you fall asleep. Until Mrs. Langrid's annoying voice fills your ears, making your arm move in fright so you face plant your desk.

"Forgive me, Mr. West. I didn't mean for my lessons to bore you to sleep. Perhaps you'd like to pay attention next time, hmm?"

Everyone sneers and laughs at you, and you grin too, because you feel like you might cry and never stop if you don't. But inside you hurt so bad that people can be so mean. So cruel even though you risk your life trying to protect them every day.

It hurts more than you'll ever willingly admit.

* * *

You somehow get through it and you're sitting at your empty table _all alone _at lunch with a mountain high arrangement of food in front of you. And you feel like you can get through this day, just like you do every day of every week.

But you're Wally. And the world hates you.

A milk bottle is hurled at the back of your head, making you come face to face with the barely passable macaroni casserole from the school. You give a mental groan and begin to wipe the disgusting food off of your face.

"Hey, West! Maybe you should share that food with the rest of us!"

"There's starving kids in Africa, ginger!"

"Where do you even keep it all?!"

"What a freak!"

And the laughs hurt, hurt, _hurt_. But you ignore them and bite into an apple. Your heart breaks a little more.

* * *

Next you're outside in itchy _too short_ shorts, facing your very pissed off gym teacher. He's yelling at you for being so slow and making your team that doesn't even _want _you lose. You just have to laugh at the irony in that because _you're the fastest kid alive_.

But it's the wrong move because he's all red in the face and spit's flying everywhere. It's really gross and you don't quite stop the cringe that appears on your face when it lands on your freckled cheek. _Yuck_.

"Do you even _want_ to be good at anything?! This is why you don't have any friends! You think you're better than everyone else, West. And I hate to burst your bubble, kid, but you ain't. Now I want to see you do fifty pushups _right now_. No wonder your father is so ashamed of you."

Now you really groan because you don't have any upper body strength. But the look he's giving you…

You start the pushups.

* * *

Finally, _finally _it's the end of the day. You think you can catch a break but you're _Wally West_. You make it for the double doors leading to freedom, but someone's shoulder rams into your throat because you're too short for your own good.

All of your papers and books fly out of your hands and you watch in dismay as your bus peels out of the school parking lot. Your dad will kill you for being late.

So you gather your stuff as fast as un-suspiciously possible and book it at a normal speed to your house because every second counts. Maybe he'll go easy on you.

But you know he won't.

And you're actually scared. Kid Flash is scared and you feel so disgusted with yourself.

You're ten minutes late and you _might_ have accidentally tapped into your powers so it wouldn't take you a half hour. Your hand's clammy and shaky as you push the front door open. You know what's going to happen but you still can't help it. You're not even halfway inside, but the all too familiar aroma fills his nostrils.

He's drunk.

And you are _so_ screwed.

The fists are flying before you can even muster up a pathetic excuse, let alone a scream.

He breaks your wrist.

* * *

For someone being so fixated on never being late, you have the curse of it today. You're late to training with Black Canary. An hour late.

And your bone is still broken. You haven't had the chance to eat in order to at least begin to mend it. It feels like your stomach is literally shrinking –because it is— and it hurts so bad, but at least your arm is numb, right?

You ignore the concerned looks Rob is sending your way and start your excuses.

"Hey, BC. I know, I know. I'm late. I got held up at school and I really, _really_ need to eat something so if I could just…" You trail off and whip out your puppy dog eyes. Robin confided in you that none of the adults from the Justice League, _not even Batman_, can resist it. And you hope he wasn't lying.

She gives you one more glare before sighing and waving you away, only stopping you when she calls Rob back from following you. Thank god.

Your wrist is starting to hurt again and you blur into the kitchen. In no time, there's at least fifty sandwiches stacked up just waiting for you to dig in. And you do. Until nothing, not even _crumbs_ are left on the platter. Something catches your attention and you pick up some weird container. It's M'gann's mirror compact.

You didn't know. Otherwise you wouldn't have opened it. You see the bruises peeking out from you costume and it fills you with shame. But they'd disappear soon. No biggy. They were already yellow; the last stage of healing. Maybe some more sandwiches will help.

They do.

Your arm hurts so bad now that you can't keep the grunts of pain from escaping your closed mouth. But that was good. You're holding the bone, making sure it heals correctly. Within minutes, it's set and no more than a sprain.

The bruises are gone, your stomach is better, and your spirits are lifted.

"KF, we have a mission. Come on, we'll fill you in on the way." Robin calls from outside the room. A grin slips onto your face and there's a bounce in your step. Maybe today will turn around.

It doesn't.

It's a stealth mission. You're trying to stop a drug cartel from the inner city of Blue Valley, Nebraska. M'gann connects your mind with everybody else and you go over the plan.

'_Robin and Superboy, you will take the left border by the forests' entrance.'_

'_You got it, Aqualad.'_

You snigger under your breath at the grunt Connor gives, because only he can grunt over mind links. Artemis glares at you and you roll your eyes. What a stick in the mud.

'_Artemis, get into place from the building's roof to the east of us. Just in case things go wrong, you are to—.'_

'_Snipe them. I know the drill.' _You watch her go in annoyance. Why does she have to be so cool and perfect? Which, newsflash, you think, she _isn't_.

'_Kid Flash, I want you to approach the guards by the crates and place a bug on the wall next to them, alright? Is your stealth suit on?'_

You press the button on the middle of your costume and watch as black begins to take the place of your signature yellow and red. Before you can respond, dizziness startles you into almost falling over.

'_Kid Flash. Come in.'_

'_Easy peasy, rice and cheesy._' You murmur and zip to the location you were appointed, only to have smoke invade your breathing. Gross. Smoking reminds you of—

_You scream and cry and sob but he won't stop kicking you. You let out a wet cough and you're so scared—_

"Damn it." You curse, knowing that the memory is being transmitted into your teammate's minds. Gasps and concerned voices meet your ears. You ignore them for the moment and slap the listening device onto the wall. How to rebound from that one?

'_What the hell was that, Baywatch?!'_

'_W-Wally?'_

'_KF, what—?'_

'_Friends. This isn't the time.'_

'_Sorry guys, I had to read something for English—a book called a Child Called It, and the smell reminded me—well, this isn't really the time. Kal is right. The bug is in position.'_

'_Yeah, I've read that book. It's messed up. But good job, Kid. Just stay hidden, okay?' _You let out a relieved breath at your quick thinking and slink back into the shadows like a certain giant bat everyone knows. This mission is going great so far.

But you're Wally West.

Nothing is ever great for you.

The hazy feeling is back and you're _so_ tired that you can't stop the cement floor from meeting your face. You hear startled yelps and rustling and you are _so screwed_.

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here? A little Niño is lost, no?" Oh shit. You're too out of it to get up and you just ruined the whole operation. "Grab the baby hero, amigos. Boss will surely want to see him."

And, just like that, arms are pulling you up roughly. You scream when they yank on your still hurting wrist. _'Uhnn, g-guys? N-need some help here.'_ They're mad at you. You're messing up everything and forcing Artemis to start shooting. The guns are going off but you still can't open your eyes because they're too heavy.

Until there's cool metal pressed to your temple. Your eyes are definitely open now. There's a gun to your head and your Team is mad at you. They hate you. Your friends hate you.

They're going to leave you for dead and you _deserve_ this.

"Kid Flash, drop!" You do. You make your body boneless and fall to the floor when the shocked Mexican drops you. Robin is here, thoroughly pissed to Kingdom Come, but you just lay here because you're so freaking useless, too weary to climb to your feet.

Then the whole Team is here, with punches and kicks until the baddies are a bloody mess and all tied up. Robin is by your side and you're so embarrassed when he lifts you up some. How is it that your thirteen year old friend can carry you so easily? Something's seriously not right with the world. Your already dwindling pride deflates even more.

"Dude, you didn't think we would come for you? That _I_ wouldn't come for you? Seriously not feeling the aster, man." And you force a smile because you honestly didn't think he would. You sometimes really hate the mental connections. Where's the privacy nowadays?

"You fucking idiot! You couldn't do one thing right, could you?! God, you're useless!" Artemis throws her arms up and walks away. It hurts knowing that you're right about how they feel. Deep down, you always thought they love you. But they don't.

Because you're Wally West.

Everyone hates you.

* * *

You're face to face with one angry Batman, it's late and you need to get home because you promised your mom it would be an early night.

You're five hours late.

Damn it.

"You jeopardized everyone when you messed up, Kid Flash. It would have been on your shoulders if they had died." And who says that to a kid? Who does that? "What caused you to reveal your position?" He growls low in his throat when you stare at your feet, refusing to make eye contact.

His hand jerks your chin up to meet his cowled lenses. What's the point in eye contact if you couldn't even see his?! But you still cringe because he's big like your dad and he's rough and scary. And he's actually kind of hurting you. Ever the detective, he sees you shudder in fear and reluctantly lets you go.

"I was tired. Sir. It was an accident." You mumble in shame. You can't do anything correctly. At least you know this, right?

"You could have killed your team. Because you were tired. They all would have died because you were tired." You can't get yourself to answer. If the painful lump in your throat is anything to go by, you'll be a crying mess if you talk. "Your duties of Kid Flash are over. You are hereby suspended until further notice. "

You don't think you hear him right. You hear him wrong. You-you—

"You can't, Bats!" You yell out in despair. He can't do this to you. It was an accident, you didn't mean to—you _can't _sleep!

"Give me one reason." He demands.

Because you'll be stuck with him nononono thiscantbehappening_he'llkillyouforsure_! "I _need_ Kid Flash. You don't understand, Batman. I _need him_." You're hysterical now, but you can't care. You just can't because your world is literally ending.

"Enough to kill your team?"

And you finally snap. "Damn it, you don't understand! You'll _never_ understand! If I can't be Kid Flash, _I'll_ die. I didn't kill my Team, but you don't think this won't haunt me, Bruce?! You don't think I'll go home and lose another night's worth of sleep over this?!" You're breathing heavy and you feel the wall supporting you crumble.

"That's enough."

"He'll kill me. I'll be dead if I have to spend more time with him. Is that what you want?! Useless Wally will be dead and you'll all be happy because…because—!" You've said too much. You've finally broken the dam inside you and all of your problems are spilling out like water. Wave after wave. It's suffocating you. _Drowning _you.

You pull a Roy harper and rip off your goggles, throwing them on the floor in front of the stunned Bat. You speed to the zeta tubes and get the hell out of there.

Because you're Wallace West. And no one will ever want you.

* * *

You're hiding under your blanket like some little kid while angry voices argue right outside your door. You're scared. You're scared because your mom screams and stomps down the stairs and leaves the house. You're alone with _him_.

He kicks open your door and you don't know what to do. You're not Kid Flash anymore. You're scared, pathetic little Wally West and your father is about to beat you senseless for his failed marriage, his failure of a child. His failure of his so called life.

"Boy, you get up right now! Get the fuck up!"

Your eyes are surprisingly dry as your dad shakes you.

* * *

It's hours later and everything hurts so bad. You're not going to school. There's no way. You have broken ribs, black eyes, bruises everywhere, and blood had begun to stain your already red hair. Not to mention your stomach is eating you from the inside out. You couldn't even get up from the bottom of the staircase. Hooray for Tuesdays.

But, thankfully, your dad was gone. Your mother hasn't come back. You have a feeling she isn't going to. She's left your life and you're _so jealous_ because you'll never be able to escape your own life. Not unless…

You shudder at the thoughts evading your brain.

You're too weak to even do that.

So you're going to die here. In a puddle of your own blood and piss. You actually wet yourself in terror when you saw your dad bring out his baseball bat. You're suddenly glad Batman has taken your mantel away. You don't deserve to be Kid Flash.

Your eyes are glazing over and there's dark slowly creeping up on you. You are so tired. Every time you move it brings a chilling, breaking pain that courses through your whole body. You hurt and want your uncle Barry. He always makes the pain away.

You imagine his warm smile and safe arms and give a bloody grin to nothing – until you remember that you don't deserve his love. You don't _have_ his love. Your heart hurts more than your broken bones. Why doesn't anyone love you?

You struggle up, only to fall right back down. You're going to die at the bottom of the staircase, where daddy had pushed you. You are going to die and you are scared. "Someone…help…" You croak out. Your throat is dry and raspy. You kinda sound like Batman.

And you're an idiot. There's a cell phone in your pocket. You manage to wrestle it out and stare at it. Do you want to call for help? Will anybody help you? You push the phone away and curl in on yourself. _Don't bother_, you tell yourself. _Just go to sleep, Wall-man_. You ignore the tears that finally break free, that turn into harsh sobs, which in turn, becomes loud wails.

Because you're Wallace Rudolph West. And you deserve everything that happens to you.

* * *

**A/N:** So there you have it! I'm not sure if I want to make this into a two-shot or what. So. Yeah. That's up to you guys.

I hope nothing was too graphic? Like, If I should up the rating, please tell me. Same with any grammar issues and criticism. Or if you just want to tell me it was good, leave a review! That's the only way authors know they're good at what they do!

Thanks for reading! c:


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Okay, here's the second chapter you all have wanted! This was actually updated really fast for me. So yay! Thank you for the reviews, dears. It really means a lot to me! Now, I wanted to address a PM I got from someone here; Most of what's written I've had from experience. My father's an asshat and doesn't know when to just stop. (o:

Thankfully, my mother and he got a divorce and I live with her. I haven't seen him since I was thirteen, and I have just turned sixteen this April. Before you skip this and go on, please please **PLEASE **tell someone if you're being physically/mentally/verbally abused. I haven't told anyone to this day and it always rests heavy in the back of my mind. So for the love of _everything_ tell. I know I didn't have an Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris who loved me this much. I had a mom that worked all the time to support us. But I was stupid and kept it bottled up inside.

**Don't do that_._**

Someone will care. I just know it. So confide in someone, _anyone_.

Just remember: **No matter what, it's _not_ your fault_._**

Okay, now for the story!

I wrote this differently than Wally's because his chapter was how I thought of things when it was tough. Even though us teens think we're adults, we're not. (o: We think and process things differently than adults and that's what you're going to see here. It will be in Barry's POV.

**Disclaimer:** Definitely not mine!

**Warning: **Child abuse! (obviously) and sweaaaaars.

* * *

Your name is Barry Allen, a forensic scientist. You're also the Flash.

That's why this is so hard for you to comprehend.

You try to come up with how this has happened. How you didn't _see_ this. How you absolutely _failed_ this child you're standing in front of. The cute, freckled, _pale _face that always has smiles to give everyone he meets. That's covered in _blood_.

How did you not see this, Barry? You fucking idiot.

Rewind. You have to rewind everything to understand what's folded out in front of you. You take a step back, as if that will physically move you into the past. Maybe to stop this from happening. To take him away from the people he trusted; the people who _hurt _him.

Oh, Wally…

You swear it started like any other day. So normal, so ordinary. So _boring_.

You are sitting at your lab and going over the DNA left from a B&amp;E from a couple blocks away. The guy is clearly an amateur, considering he left footprints, _fingerprints_. You actually scoff and roll your eyes. Pretty pathetic.

You glance at your phone and give a mental cheer. Time to clock out, meet Wally, and get in some training before you take him out for ice cream. The kid deserves a surprise. You can just imagine the delight fill his face already.

_Uncle Barry, you're the best!_

You chuckle tiredly and realize that you have been spending _way_ too much time with Hal. His narcissism is rubbing on you. You swipe your time card and hightail it out of here before someone sees you and decides it's a perfect time to chat for hours.

You tiptoe to your car and slip in, suppressing a yawn. You didn't get a lot of sleep last night because you could just _swear _someone was standing outside your door. But when you went to check, no one was there.

But soon you and your nephew will be on the track, and you can forget about everything. You just hope he won't be busy. That would be a downer.

You get home and leave a note for Iris, making sure to add a hastily drawn smiley face to show it's really you and not some alien that's abducted you. Yeah, your wife is weird. But you don't blame her.

In a flash, you're in your suit and zipping to Blue Valley to see Wally. Maybe you'll take him out for dinner, too. Yeah, a whole day with just the two of you.

In a matter of minutes, you're in the backyard and out of sight, already dialing his cell. It rings. And rings. And rings.

Voicemail.

Uh, this's weird. You try again. Ring, ring, ring. Too slow for your fidgeting.

Voicemail.

You try two more times. That's when you start to feel worried. Kid always answers his phone. You look inside and see that the lights are, indeed, on. Someone is obviously home. You know for a fact because Rudy would bitch and bitch if someone didn't turn them off.

Your phone buzzes and relief flares through you until you realize it's Iris.

"Hey, I. What's up?"

"_Hey, yeah. Um, I just got off of work and I checked my phone, right? Apparently Wally's school called me saying he didn't show up._"

"Yeah? So he skipped. The kid does that a lot." You shrug, but the churning in your stomach betrays you. "What's wrong with that?"

"_Barry, sweetheart, you don't understand. I'm the emergency contact. Emergency emergency contact. They call the house phone, then Mary's cell, then Rudy's. Then me._"

"…give me a second, okay? I'm in his backyard now." You could re-word that better to sound less creepy, but you shove it aside and quickly glance around. No witnesses.

You're Barry Allen again.

You try the backdoor and jiggle the handle some. It's locked.

"_Why are you all the way out there?_"

"Well, I was going to train with him as like a fun surprise, or something." You murmur as you jog to the front of the house. "Lord knows he deserves it." You knock on the door hard, until you feel the wood slightly groan in protest.

"_Just…call me back when you find out he's okay. I'm worried, Barry. Something doesn't feel right._" You grunt in acknowledgement and shove your cell into your pocket. You peer into the glass window next to the door and frown in confusion when one of Wally's yellow converses come into view in front of the stairs…

…that is attached to a denim clad leg. Soaking in blood.

Your heart drops to your feet and your eyes widen in horror. "No. No, no, no." You grab for air until you make contact with the round metal, and turn the knob. It's unlocked.

But for the fastest man alive, you sure are slow when the door opens to reveal something that makes you want to cry and cry until you wake up in bed because it is just a nightmare.

Wally is on his stomach, one of his legs are slightly bent to his chest while the other is straightened out. His hand…his _little_ hand is next to his face, and it's curled into a soft, limp fist. Like how he sleeps when he's at your house after a mission and he's _so_ tired that he drops anywhere.

You think to yourself that, if it isn't for the blood just _coating_ him, he _can_ be sleeping. And you can pick him up like usual, tuck him in with Iris over your shoulder cooing like he's your own son.

He's too still. Oh, god, he's too still. You finally snap out of whatever it is you are stuck in and blur to his side. Your hands just linger and hover over him because you don't know what to do or where to start and you're so_ useless_.

"Wally?" You croak out. "Wally, kiddo, open your eyes for me." He doesn't listen. He _never _listens. You check for a pulse. Weak _tooslow_ for a speedster, but there. You know you can't call the cops. So you call the next best thing. You get on your comm. link and radio in to Bats.

"Batman." You start calmly when he answers gruffly. "What do I do? He—Wally's hurt in his house and I—." _You don't know what to do_.

A noise from the kitchen has you snapping your neck with the speed you look up. Rudy comes waltzing out of the room with a beer can in his hand.

"Rudy! Rudy, what happened here?! What happened to Wally?" He starts at the sound of your voice and freezes once he sees his son in your arms.

"Barry?! What the fuck are you doin' here?" He orders like-like this is _normal_. Like his son goes through this every—

Oh, god.

No, no, no, nonono_nonono_—

Rudy just sneers and gulps down the Bud Light. You start to vibrate in anger because god _fucking _damn it you swear you will kill him. You swear.

'_Flash, I have sent Green Lantern to your location. He was flying over so he should be there any second._'

"Rudy, tell me—," you have to breathe deeply through your nose so you don't tear him limb from limb. "Tell me you did _not_ do this to him. _You tell me, damn it_!"

"That boy needs to learn some damn respect, Bartholomew. You 'n Iris coddle him and fill his head with nonsense. He needs to learn about the real world, and that's what I'm doing!"

And you scream louder than you thought possible, zipping toward him and throwing the overweight man into the wall. You scream and scream while slamming his head into the wood as hard as you can because _you stepped in Wally's blood._

"How does it feel?! How does it feel to have someone stronger than you, someone you _trust_ hurt you, you monster?! This is what your little boy feels!" Hands are pulling you off of that _sick son of a_—

"Barry, stop fighting me! I don't want to knock you out, please don't make me knock you out!" You're surrounded in a green construct and you beat and beat on the walls trapping you from _ripping his arms from his torso and feeding it to_—

"We need to get Wally to the Watchtower! Damn it, Bear, we're wasting time!" You stop and blink, because for the life of you, you have no idea when Hal got here. You're gently lowered onto the floor once he's sure you won't go crazy again.

"He—Hal, he…" You turn around and get a good look at Green Lantern. He looks completely torn, you realize. He doesn't want to stop you. "Damn it!"

You run to Wally and take off your jacket in order to wrap him up in it. And then you lift him into your arms and it scares you how _tiny_ he is for a fifteen year old. You seethe through your teeth, watching Hal construct some handcuffs on him.

"Come on, we're leaving right now."

* * *

You're sitting with the League when you'd much rather be sitting with Wally in the med bay. You cough in order to hide the slight sob that threatens to leave your throat.

You should have noticed. _Youshouldhavenoticed_. Why didn't you notice?

"—sh? Flash! Pay attention!" You zone back into the conversation when Batman growls into your ear. "Get yourself together."

"Sorry, Bats. I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

"This is a matter of the League since Rudolph West knows yours and Kid Flash's identities. We're having Superman find Mrs. West and we will have Martian Manhunter wipe their memories concerning superheroes."

You run a hand through your hair and sigh before you pull your cowl over your face. "What about him abusing Wally? Tell me he's going to jail."

"Do not worry, Flash. I will leave those memories untouched. The police will be notified at once." J'onn assures. It doesn't really assure you at all. But…

You stop. There's too many holes in the story. "They're going to question why we have him at the Watchtower. Why we're getting involved in something that doesn't-doesn't concern us."

Diana spoke up. "We are going to say that Superman had heard screaming and came to investigate. Rudolph tries to attack him, it's our business then." You can tell she's angry. They're all angry. Well… You look at J'onn and shrug internally. You have no idea what he thinks.

"Just...let me see my nephew. Please." Bats gives the slightest of nods and you blur out of that stiff, cold conference room. The corridors distort from the speed you're going, and the heroes you pass are none too thrilled to be thrown into the walls by the force of the wind.

You put on your breaks and stop at the ward's double doors. It hurts knowing you have to be here to see him. You—god. You were going to surprise him with a fun day because he deserves it. Damn it, the kid deserves it!

You shake the nervous jitters away and ignore the sour taste in your mouth as you make your way to his room. To a hospital room. Jesus.

And he's lying there, with those rails at his sides, trapping him, an IV running morphine through his veins because his father beat him. You choke on a groan.

Wally's pale and sickly and so, _so_ tiny that it just breaks your heart. It breaks your heart that he couldn't tell you. That he _wouldn't _tell you. And he still smiles and laughs and _jokes_, but now he's here. Quiet and hurting.

"Hey, Kid." You murmur from his side, pulling up a chair so you can sit. You reach for the hand resting on his tummy —the one without the needle sticking into it— and rub it gently. His freckled nose scrunches at the contact but he quickly settles down. "It's Uncle Barry. I'm pretty glad I found you. I was gonna surprise you with ice cream."

It's been ten minutes and you're rambling about nothing and everything "You know, your auntie Iris is worried about you. She keeps trying to call me but she forgets that we're in space. Black Canary finally gave her a comm. link. She's frantic."

"…y-yeah? Tell her the Wall-man said hi." You let out a startled hiss at the croaky voice. It's pathetic and weak and _so _Wally. His green eyes that are just like Iris' are slightly open, staring at you like you're about to lose it. You might.

"Wally, kiddo, how are you feeling?" You slowly reach for the 'nurse' button and press it. "Do you need something?"

"W-water? Could use som-something to drink." Dr. Mid-Nite jogs in just then, with a Dixie cup filled with water in his hand, and a clipboard in the other.

"I thought you'd be up, Kid Flash. Here, this will help your throat some." You watch Wally hesitantly pull himself from your hold and grab the cup with a shaky hold. You help him tilt it back some so he can drink.

"Better?" Mid-Nite asks, already writing something onto the clipboard. Wally nods and glances around. You can see him start to panic, his wide eyes getting wider when he realizes that he isn't in a normal hospital.

"W-where am I? Am I…ohmygodamIinthe_Watchto wer_UncleBarry?!" He gasps in excitement. You help him sit up more and he starts to chatter like he isn't hurt and bleeding.

Like he wasn't abused by his father.

Like this is _normal_.

Your heart breaks a little more.

"Kid, you need to calm down. Now, how are you feeling?" Mid-Nite interrupts patiently. "Any pain standing out more than it should?" Wally blinks like he doesn't understand why he's being asked that.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Wait…why am I here? Not that I'm not totally psyched to be here! I just—," His pupils blow up, only just showing the green surrounding them, and then he's screeching and flinching away from your hands.

"_-msorryImsorrystophurtingmedadImsosososos_sosorry—"

"Jesus, Wally! It's okay, you're fine—Mid-Nite, do something!" You watch in horror as he literally _stabs_ your nephew with a syringe. "What the fuck was that?!" You're holding Wally as he starts to relax against his will, still mumbling awful, _awful_ things you've never wanted to hear him say.

"A mild sedative. It seems his brain was trying to block out what happened. But," he pokes and prods the kid, "he needs food in his system so he can begin to heal. I'll work on that right now. Maybe you should…"

He makes a gesture to leave. You narrow your eyes. "Right. Stay there. Be right back." Mid-Nite leaves the room and you crash back into the chair.

You want to pull your hair out and scream because you failed him. You _failed_ your partner. And it is the worst feeling in the world.

You're Barry Allen. And you hate the world.

* * *

In the end, it takes three days for Wally to heal. To wake up. Roy visits every day—he doesn't leave—and makes sure he lets all the 'good for nothing' heroes know that he hates them _so_ much and 'I'm lookin' at you, Ollie!'

You chuckle because he's such a good friend to the kid and, even though he's so serious, he can make Wally laugh in seconds.

"Hey, Barry. How's Wally? Any signs of him waking up?" He asks. "Because Rob says that he'll know if I'm holding back. Creepy little fucker."

"Nothing yet, Roy. I'm surprised he hasn't pressured Bats into making him come here." You laugh, rubbing your eyes. You haven't slept since this whole mess started and you're starting to feel it.

"Well…"

An eerie cackle fills the too white room, startling you into straightening from your droopy position. "What the—?"

"Damn it, this is why you don't have any friends besides the AP Chemistry nerd in bed." You resist the urge to screech like a little girl when Robin appears next to you.

"Hey, Flash. Not feeling the aster, huh?" His jokes don't hide the slight crack in his voice that you _know_ isn't from puberty. "Wow, Kid Stupid looks _awful_." Even so, you watch the small boy carefully crawl into bed next to Kid and stop Roy from pulling him back.

"He's fine, Roy."

"He's going to hurt him." You just keep quiet because you also know that he would never hurt Wally. And they just look so precious that it stings. Because they're children and they see more and do more and get beaten. They look their age even with the wires sticking out of your boy.

"Shut up, _Speedy_. I'd never hurt Wally."

"Baby bird, how'd you get here?" You sigh because you really don't want a fight. "Does Batman know?" And the blank look he gives you has you groaning more because _ugh_.

"What…is holding me?" A weak voice asks softly. You jump up and grab the glass of water on the end table and practically force it down his throat. You…accidentally scare him. But he drinks none the less. Until he's coughing and you have apologies spilling from your lips.

"KF, you're awake!" Robin chirps in relief. Wally blinks and slightly turns his head toward him. "How are you feeling?"

"Loopy. Man, what am I on?"

"The good stuff. Enjoy it." He's practically all better, and the bruises are gone. You're just waiting for the freak out again. "I'll go get Mid-Nite." You silently thank Roy and study Wally's confused face.

"Wait—was that Roy?! Rob, was that Roy?" The total excitement is cute, so you chuckle because if you don't, you'll cry.

"Wally," you start gently, lovingly, "welcome back to the world of the living." He grins, but it's even more confused. Thankfully, here's the doctor.

"Alright, Kid Flash. Let's try this again; how are you feeling? Any pain? Hungry?"

"Uh, fine, Doc. Wa-ait. Are we in the—?!"

"Yes. The Watchtower. We've established this." Robin and Roy laugh at the pure joy on Wally's face. "Now, what do you remember?"

You watch as the kid's brow furrows in thought. "What do I remember…?" And then his eyes glaze over, his breathing quickens. "Ohgodohgodohgod, I-I fell. Down the stairs. Silly me, I left my skateboard right-right there and I fell. He_llo_, Kid Clumsy!"

It hurts knowing he doesn't trust you to help him. More than anything in the world, you just want to gather him up in his arms and plant kisses all over him until he's whining and complaining in embarrassment. Instead, you put on a brave face.

"Kid…kid, we know. I—Robin, maybe you should—." This is a family matter, and of course he's family, but he's too young to hear this.

"I hacked into the computers. I already know everything." Of course.

Wally's horrified face grounds you again and you reach a hand out—

—only to have him reel back, flinching and breathing heavy.

"I fell! _I fell_! I left my skateboard at the top of the stairs and I didn't see it and I fell because it was my fault! It was my fault, okay?!"

You lick your lips, the silence following the outburst almost deafening. "Wally…" His eyes are crazy, and his red hair is wild. "Kiddo…"

"Red Arrow, Robin, please leave. This is only for the patient and guardian." Mid-Nite orders. His gaze won't stray from Wally's face. "Go."

You don't know how you know, but you do. Robin's eyes narrow and he gets ready for an attack. But Roy beats him to it. "Fuck that! We're not leaving at all!"

You might have to intervene.

"Then you leave me no choice—."

"No! No, they're staying. They're staying with me." Wally grabs onto Robin like a lifeline, and he won't even look at you, and _Jesus_. It feels like someone has ripped your heart out and stomped on it.

The boys can't even look triumphant. "Fine." Mid-Nite's uncomfortable stance doesn't calm the situation. "I have set you up with some counseling with Black Canary. You'll be meeting with Batman and Martian Manhunter when she and I deem you fit."

You watch the panic take him over and he starts to vibrate. It's too much for you. You grab his head and push him to your chest. You're uncomfortable, but at least he stops fidgeting. And you can't see his face.

"Well, I always imagined my first visit to the Watchtower more…thrilling than this, huh guys?" Wally tried weakly. You laugh because it's such a Wally thing to say.

Robin starts to shake.

* * *

It's just you, and Kid, and Batman. You're waiting for J'onn to…you don't know, materialize? Materialize in front of you. He's going to go through Wally's memories.

Because Wally won't say a word about it.

And you don't blame him.

"Kid Flash, I will give you one last chance to give us the truth." Batman growls. Wally has lost his cocky grin he's kept up the past three weeks. He's so unsure with what to do and what to say.

"I told you," he mumbles weakly, with his arms crossed defensively over his chest, "I fell down the stairs."

God.

Oh, there was screaming when this was brought up to him. He screamed and wailed and _begged_ you.

_Please, Uncle Barry, why don't you believe me?! This—it's an invasion of my privacy, you can't!_

You're a monster. You're a monster because you threatened to take Kid Flash away. Lock him up nice and tight and never let the costume see the light of day, you_ swear, Wally. So unless you want that to happen_—

He hasn't hugged you once since this has happened. He won't talk to Iris, his team, _you_.

He won't even look at you.

And you hate yourself more than you thought possible.

Martian Manhunter appears from the ground and stands in front of you, just watching.

It kind of pisses you off.

But then Wally's looking _scared_. His eyes are darting at every possible escape route and he looks like he's going to throw up.

"Shall we get started?"

Wally cracks.

"I don't understand why you have to do this if you know what happened! This is stupid, you just want to humiliate me, don't you?! Little Wally West can't be a hero and take care of himself, so let's laugh at him. Uncle Barry, don't do this. _Don't_ do this."

And you know it's a threat.

"It will be harmless, child. Just sit back and—," J'onn reaches a hand out and tries to grasp at Wally's head.

"Don't! Stopstopstop, wait! I-I want Rob. I want Robin and I want Red Arrow. Then I'll do it, I promise."

He doesn't want you.

How does that feel, Barry Allen?

Like someone's spat in your face.

Batman shakes his head, and Wally just deflates. "No. we don't have time to—."

"Okay." All heads turn to you. Did you say that? "Okay, Wally." His shaky grin is worth it, it's worth not being wanted because he seems a little happier.

Finally, Robin and Red Arrow are here as promised, and Wally won't let go of Robin's hand. Like it's physically impossible.

It takes all you have not to be jealous of a little kid.

But you are.

_ Pathetic_.

Memories are plays into your mind like a damn movie just like that. It's sickening.

Wally's six and it's that stupid family reunion. The one where you met him and play Flash with him. He is so happy, but—

_ Why the _fuck_ do you gotta embarrass me in front of everybody_?! _In front of _Allen? A vase is thrown right next to the scared little boy.

_I-I'm sorry, Daddy! I didn't mean to!_

You close your eyes in hopes to stop the cinema. But it's still there, and it's still playing.

Wally's eight and he brings home a bad grade from school.

_Why the hell are we lettin' you go to school if all you do is have your damn head in the clouds?! _

He's screaming and screaming for his daddy to forgive him that _I didn't mean to, Daddy! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Mommy, he's hurting me!_

Mary just watches from the kitchen.

Wally's ten and he's got his powers. God, you can feel the excitement pouring out of him. The grin lights up the whole house. He's zipping around for his mom, even though she looks disgusted. But he still talks a mile a minute-a second.

Until his dad throws a perfectly aimed punch to his head and he drops. Just…drops.

_You've brought this family shame, Wallace! Now you're a goddamn freak!_

Wally doesn't get up.

It goes on and on. There's so much that J'onn has to skip some. Wally's eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. Beatings follow bruises and wails and begging.

And it all leads up to last Monday.

You see Wally stand in front of your bedroom door and cry softly. You see him let out a shuddering breath and go back into his room.

You know he doesn't sleep.

You see him sit in class. You see how tired he is, how he falls asleep because he's a child who needs more than two hours of sleep.

You see how his classmates mock him. His grin makes you want to curl into a ball.

You know how hurt he his.

You see him sitting at an empty lunch table with _not enough _food. But he's happy and that little bit of his real smile shines and it fills you with warmth.

Until a milk bottle is thrown at the back of his head hard enough to hurt the kid. You feel his tiny happiness shatter like glass.

You know he's starving.

You see him outside for gym. He's _too slow_ for his teammates. He doesn't have any friends and he's a disappointment. You'll have that man fired.

You feel his heart break.

You know it can only get worse.

You see him being shoved to the floor. You _see_ the utter devastation in his eyes when that last bus pulls away.

And you _know _what's going to happen. But it doesn't help.

His wrist breaks.

You see him sweet talk Black Canary into getting some food. You see how he inhales the sandwiches faster than he's ever eaten before.

It's a record.

You see him on the mission, his smile's back up and he's joking with Robin before they go into position.

_'Easy peasy, rice and cheesy.'_

He's learned that from you. You cringe.

You see how sleepy he is, how hard he tries to fight it. But he slumps to the ground and moans because you _know_ he knows he screwed up.

And the way that man is staring at him…you're glad Robin's there.

Even if Wally doesn't seem to think his team likes him.

You see him standing in front of Batman and you can practically taste his fear. An intimidating figure that can beat his ass in a heartbeat is currently pissed.

You have no idea what to expect.

_You jeopardized everyone when you messed up, Kid Flash. It would have been on your shoulders if they had died. _You have to do a double take because who the hell says that to a kid?

And then Batman yanks his chin up. You see red. You're so, _so_ angry. How dare he touch your child?! What gives him the right?

_I was tired, sir. It was an accident._

_You could have killed your team. Because you were tired. They all would have died because you were tired. _Jesus Christ, you're going to have words with this man, because if he even thinks about talking like this to Robin, you swear…

Poor Wally looks like he's going to cry.

You _just_ want to hold him. You just—

_ Your duties of Kid Flash are over. You are hereby suspended until further notice. _Wait. You heard him wrong. You definitely heard this man wrong.

_You can't, Bats! _You see Wally's walls start to deteriorate. You see him start to vibrate in fear and-and…you're no better than Batman, you have to remind yourself.

You did the same thing.

_Give me one reason._

And Wally's feelings are so powerful that you know—_everyone _knows what he's thinking.

You feel as if you're Wally.

Because you'll be stuck with him nononono thiscantbehappening_he'llkillyouforsure_! _I need Kid Flash. You don't understand, Batman. I _need_ him._ You're hysterical now, but you can't care. You just can't because your world is literally ending.

The sudden change from rational thinking to a frantic teenager hurts your head a little.

_Enough to kill your team?_

And Wally finally, finally snaps.

_Damn it, you don't understand! You'll _never_ understand! If I can't be Kid Flash, _I'll_ die. I didn't kill my Team. But you don't think this won't haunt me, Bruce?! You don't think I'll go home and lose another night's worth of sleep over this_?!

You watch his face crumble, his chest heave and you know that with one more push, the wall's broken.

This is getting to be too much.

_That's enough._

Wally's feelings take over again and—

_He'll kill me. I'll be dead if I have to spend more time with him. Is that what you want?! Useless Wally will be dead and you'll all be happy because…because—!_ You've said too much. You've finally broken the dam inside you and all of your problems are spilling out like water. Wave after wave.

You pull a Roy harper and rip off your goggles, throwing them on the floor in front of the stunned Bat. You speed to the zeta tubes and get the hell out of there.

Because you're Wallace West. And no one will ever want you.

Wally, Wally, Wally…

You see him hiding under his blankets. And he's so scared. Mary screams something and slams the door shut. You know.

You _know_.

Oh, god. No.

He's alone with _him_.

Rudolph kicks his door open.

_Boy, you get up right now! Get the fuck up!_

And he shakes Wally like a little doll. You watch his neck lurch back and forth at breaking speeds.

You've never wanted this to happen.

Wally's terror takes over again and you _hate _it.

You're seeing and hearing and thinking exactly what he is.

Everything hurts so bad. You're not going to school. There's no way. You have broken ribs, black eyes, bruises everywhere, and blood had begun to stain your already red hair. Not to mention your stomach was eating you from the inside out. You couldn't even get up from the bottom of the staircase.

But thankfully, your dad is gone. Your mother hasn't come back. And you have a feeling she isn't going to. She's left your life and you're _so jealous_ because you'll never be able to escape your own life. Not unless…

You shudder at the thoughts evading your brain.

You're too weak to even do that.

So you're going to die here. In a puddle of your own blood and piss. You actually wet yourself in terror when you saw your dad bring out his baseball bat. You're suddenly glad Batman has taken your mantel away. You don't deserve to be Kid Flash.

Your eyes are glazing over and there's dark slowly creeping up on you. You are so tired. Every time you move it brings a chilling, breaking pain that courses through your whole body. You hurt and want your Uncle Barry. He always makes the pain away.

You imagine his warm smile and safe arms and give a bloody grin to nothing. Until you remember that you don't deserve his love. You don't _have_ his love. Your heart hurts more than your broken bones.

You struggle up but fall back. You're going to die at the bottom of the staircase, where daddy had pushed you. You are going to die and you are scared. "Someone…help…" You croak out. Your throat is dry and raspy. You kinda sound like Batman.

And you're an idiot. There's a cell phone in your pocket. You manage to wrestle it out and stare at it. Do you want to call for help? Will anybody help you? You push the phone away and curl in on yourself. Don't bother, you tell yourself. Just go to sleep, Wall-man. You ignore the tears that finally break free, that turn into harsh sobs, which in turn, becomes loud wails.

Because you're Wallace Rudolph West. And you deserve everything that happens to you.

The snap back to reality has you gasping. There's no more movie, no more bloody scenes. You're back in the conference room.

And, oh _god_.

He had his phone. He had his fucking phone and he didn't call you why didn't hecallyouyoudontunderstandwhatdidyoudoyou_vefailedhimohgod_.

"Uncle Barry, it's okay! Calm down, please, please!" And his small hands are pulling down your cowl and resting on your face. "I'm sorry, okay? Just breathe!"

You do. It's pathetic and all _wrong_ for a hero. You gather him into your arms and groan at the complete wrongness of everything.

You could have lost him, and that's all because he didn't think he could call you. You're good for nothing, Barry. You've failed as a hero, as a mentor, as an uncle.

And as a father for Wally.

You're no better than Rudy.

"I'm so sorry, Wally. I am _so_ sorry. This-this is all my fault. If I just made sure you were okay, made sure you knew you could talk to me about anything—." Oh, god. What is Iris going to say when you tell her?

"Uncle-Uncle Barry, you're squeezing too tight!" You have to force yourself to let go. You pull back and stare into his boyish face, with his still trusting eyes that didn't hate him.

You don't deserve this kid.

And he smiles. He smiles at you. It's shy and uncertain but so perfect. "I-I love you, Uncle Barry. Please don't be mad."

"Never. I could never be mad. I love you, too, kid. So much." But you have things you need to deal with. And you're going to do this now.

You get up and stalk to Batman. He's too still like he's thinking things over and you know he feels guilty.

"If you _ever_ talk to my child like that, _grab_ my child like that…if I ever find out you do that to Dick, I swear to everything that is holy…" You let the threat speak for itself.

"I understand. I won't stop you."

You look around the room and make eye contact with Robin and Roy. They're shocked and scared even though they're playing it off. They're just kids and you know you shouldn't have said that in front of them, but…

"Walls, why-why didn't you call the Flash?" Robin asks meekly from his spot on one of the chairs. "He could have made you better."

Wally just shrugs. He's beating himself up inside, and you've had _enough_ of this. You grab his arm gently so you don't scare him and lead him out of the room.

"You need your auntie Iris. She's dying to see you."

And you are dying to see her.

* * *

You're Barry Allen, a forensic scientist. You still don't understand how you didn't see the signs.

And it will haunt you until the day you die.

But right now, you're holding your nephew's clammy hand in your own, standing in front of your door.

"You ready, kiddo?" You ask softly. He's shaking some, but gives a small grin and nods.

He's so brave.

You reach for the doorknob only to be stopped with a heartbreaking question.

"Will she…will she be mad?" He whispers, his eyes searching the ground for something interesting.

"Of course not. She's been hounding me to see you for a long time. She misses you so much. Just…be ready for tears, okay? And not just from her." He laughs at your _notsoreal_ joke and scrunches up his freckled nose.

"'Kay."

And you push the door open. "Honey, we're home!"

At first nothing happens, so you step in and drag him with you. You follow a delicious smell to the kitchen and watch her bake from the doorway.

She doesn't see you two.

You give a look to Wally and he sniggers quietly. He knows what to do.

"Hey, Auntie Iris! Am I allowed to have a snack before dinner?" And it's not even that funny when she completely drops the tray of cookies in her hands and whirls around, but you laugh anyway because you know you're seconds away from crying.

She gasps. Her hair's a mess, her eyes are red, circles underneath them, and her clothes are rumpled. She's never looked so beautiful to you.

"Wally!" She cries, running faster than you thought possible. She crouches in front of him and her hands hover over him like yours did. Because she doesn't know how to start either.

"Hey, sorry I couldn't call you. They don't have service in space." He giggles at his own joke and it snaps her out of her trance. She pulls him onto the ground with her and you're pretty sure she's strangling him.

"Um, Iris, honey…that's his neck you're…hugging?" You don't really know how to word that.

"I know."

Wally's turning blue so you try to at least untangle the arms from his _throat_. "Okay, maybe try for the waist or something, dear. This is killing him." She actually punches you on the shoulder. It actually kind of hurts. Damn, you love her.

"I _know_ this is killing him. Why do you think I'm doing it?" Iris finally lets him go with a huff, but it's obvious she wants nothing more than to rock him like a baby. Yeah, that'll go over well.

"You said she wouldn't be mad!" Wally accuses you heatedly.

"She's not mad, kid!"

"Dude, she tried to kill me! That kind of counts as mad."

Iris bit her lip and pulls him to her chest again, _gently _this time. "Oh, baby. I'm not mad. I'm just frustrated that you didn't _tell_ me anything. You know, your Auntie Iris took karate when she was little."

And the way she's talking about _it_ is so relaxing that it doesn't make Wally freeze up. He just rolls his eyes and grins.

"My PE teacher has it out for me. Will you take care of it?"

"Of course. He won't know what got him."

You love your family.

* * *

Everything is normal and you find yourself in your room hours later trying to sleep. It's been weeks since you've closed your eyes, but you just can't seem to do it. Thankfully, Iris crashes the moment her pretty little head hits the pillow. And Wally…

You tell yourself that he's sleeping. You carry him to bed like normal when he falls asleep during the movie. He's sleeping in his room safe and sound.

Your bare feet hit the cold floor.

You walk over to the door and push it open. You'll just check on him. Then you can be sure and everything will be—Oh. Wally's big eyes are staring up at you from the middle of the hallway.

He's gripping his nightshirt _hisFlashpajamas_ and twisting it in his clenched fist. He must be startled to see you because his mouth forms into a little 'o', and his freckles are hidden by a blush.

"Oh, jeez Uncle Barry. You scared me. What's this big idea?" What's the big idea? You furrow your brow and hold a hand up. Don't embarrass him Barry.

Instead, you push the door behind you open and step back. He gives you a look of course. The 'are you kidding me? I'm not a child' glare. But it crumbles and there's such relief that he actually starts to sob.

His bony shoulders shake and his chest heaves with trying to be quiet. You lead him into the room and help him beside Iris.

And hope begins to flow through you.

This cry is different. It's relieved and happy. And Wally now knows he's saved.

You lay down next to him and wrap your arms around both of them. You don't say anything about the soaking of your shirt by tears. You just close your eyes and _breathe_.

Because your name is Barry Henry Allen and the world looks a little brighter.

* * *

**A/N: **Alright, there you have it. The scene with Batman and Barry, where Barry threatens him? Batman _knows _he's screwed up. He knows that some of this is his fault and he _wants _Barry to stop him if he ever hurts Robin. Just a little FYI there.

On a fun note: I changed the cover image to something I found. **I do not own it. **Haha, I know it's from the YJ Twitter and it makes me smile a little knowing that. For all you Spitfire fans...oops?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story, dears. It was fun and a little sad, but I like how it turned out. Make sure you review and tell me what you think! (especially if I have grammar/punctuation errors)

Thanks, everyone!


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